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“Do you hate him more than you love your child? If you love your child more than you hate your ex, you will let your child have a… strong, ongoing, reliable relationship with the father.”
Parental alienation occurs when one parent turns a child against the other parent. It can happen in extremely subtle ways or through direct language and behavior, and it can cause serious harm to the child’s psyche.
Chaim Steinberger is a family law attorney with Chaim Steinberger, P.C, based in New York. In this interview, he explains when a father’s rights begin, what parental alienation looks like, and what parents can do to fight against it while preserving the best interests of the child.
To learn more, contact the attorney directly by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page.
If someone has been determined to be the father either through a child’s birth certificate or the father/mother/family member bringing forward a paternity action, that father has rights and responsibilities as a parent. Every child has a right to a relationship with their father and mother, and this relationship should occur in whatever way is most beneficial to the child. When one or both parents alienate the other in the eyes of the child, this only causes harm.
This is a form of child abuse, and it hurts the child’s ability to know and accept both sides of the family they are equally made of. This is destructive to a child’s confidence and subsequent ability to trust, and it prevents a child from having a positive relationship with both parents. Parental alienation may occur in direct ways or in subtle ways, and it can be perpetrated by one or both parents toward the other.
Creating an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect with your spouse and child is the first and most important thing you can do to stave off parental alienation and find a suitable compromise in court. If you jump directly to your demands regarding what you deserve, even if you are right, this is likely to spark an intense reaction from the other party. Jumping straight into litigation can cause both sides of the issue to fight harder for what they think they deserve and the resulting connection between the child and alienated parent(s) can be even harder to repair. Just reminding the other party that you appreciate their efforts to care for the child can do wonders to build trust between parties and refocus the situation onto the well-being of the child.
If you find yourself unsure of what to pursue for you and your child, consider the child’s thoughts and feelings. It’s easy to be swept away by the intense emotions a parent feels when trying to do what they think is protecting their child, but this can sometimes result in animosity toward the other parent/friends/family which does little to reassure a child that all is well. Take the time to talk with your children and understand their take on the situation. After all, in this sort of case, it is the child’s future you will be deciding, so it makes sense to give them a say.
A skilled negotiator can bring the tension down enough to see the situation for what it really is and come up with an equitable outcome for both parties. Family matters are some of the most difficult to handle on your own due to the degree of emotion involved. Between parents struggling to get along, it is much easier to focus on attacking the other party rather than remembering that the goal of the entire case is to make sure the child is provided with a stable, positive relationship with both parents. This is why it’s a good idea to involve a lawyer in any matters of family law, and especially any case involving a child. A good lawyer will understand your situation and have the experience and training to seek the best outcome for yourself and your child.
To learn more, contact Chaim Steinberger directly by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page.
Disclaimer: This video is for informational purposes only. In some states, this video may be deemed Attorney Advertising. The choice of lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely on advertisements.
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