Men Going Through Divorce: Lawyer Explains the Best Things to Do

This video features Chaim Steinberger, a Family Law attorney based in New York.

Attorney Chaim Steinberger | 888-981-0039 | Schedule Your Consult Today

"Keep your cool. Assume you are always on camera. Assume you are always being recorded. If you’re not going to be able to keep your cool, move out of the house."

For men going through divorce, there are right and wrong decisions you can make throughout the process.

Chaim Steinberger is a family law attorney with Chaim Steinberger, P.C, based in New York. In this interview, he explains all the things you can do to give yourself the best chance of a successful outcome.

To learn more, contact Chaim Steinberger by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page.

Important Takeaways from Chaim Steinberger

Don’t cheat the system. You can’t hide assets.

"The people who try to game the system—I’ll hide this, I’ll transfer this to my brother in law, I’ll give this to my second cousin once removed—you don’t ever want to get caught up in that. If your wife has a lawyer like me, we are going to rip you to shreds."

If a judge gets a sense that you’re trying to manipulate the situation, they will not be on your side.

The courts will always prioritize the child’s best interests. If you’re not a good dad, you won’t get custody.

The mom may claim that Dad works too much, and is an absent father. If you want joint custody or sole custody, then you need to start acting like the world’s best dad right now. Cut out drugs and alcohol. See a therapist about anger management or any other emotional issues that you may struggle with. If you haven’t shown steps toward self-improvement, any statements like “I’m a new man” or “I can change” will ring hollow.

Get more involved in your child’s lives. Help out with homework, rides to school, etc. Establish yourself as a connected, involved, active parent. Don’t wait until the divorce to say “I want to change now.”

If your wife tells you to move out, think twice. If you give up the house, it may be tough to get it back. It depends on the jurisdiction.

The number one most important tip: keep cool.

The most important thing to consider: do not cause a hazard or a scene. In today’s digital age, any outburst can be captured. Assume you are always on camera. Assume you are always being recorded.

This means you need to be as civil as possible with your soon-to-be-ex. Don’t provoke, and don’t let her get you angry. Let go of anger. Accept that it isn’t working, work to find a solution that benefits everyone, and do your best to keep your emotions in check.

Depending on where you are, infidelity could be a factor.

In New York, grounds for divorce don’t affect the distribution of property.

"If she’s cheating, if you’re cheating, it doesn’t matter in New York. Courts don’t want to hear it."

In some jurisdictions, fault in divorce can affect division of property. If someone is cheating, they could lose their right to alimony. Talk to a divorce attorney and find out if this applies to your jurisdiction. You can accumulate evidence, possibly by hiring a private investigator to document infidelity. Do your best to stay emotionally neutral.

Be a supportive husband.

Encourage your wife to pursue a career. This can help counter an argument that she is dependent on you to survive.

To learn more, contact Chaim Steinberger by calling 888-981-0039 or by submitting a contact form on this page.

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